The concept is a variation of the original idea that suggests that when we judge others harshly for their negative traits or behaviours, it may be because we possess those same traits or have experienced similar negative feelings ourselves, which we now feel shame for.
Criticism often stems from a place of discomfort or dissatisfaction within ourselves. For example, if we are highly critical of someone for being lazy or unmotivated, it may be because we struggle with our own motivation and productivity. Similarly, if we criticise someone for being selfish, it may be because we struggle with our own tendencies towards self-centeredness.
This is not to say that we shouldn’t pass judgement when it is necessary and when it is constructive to do so. This concept highlights the idea that our criticisms of others may be a reflection of our own unresolved issues and internal struggles. It can be difficult to acknowledge and address our own flaws, and indeed our own humanity, so it can be easier to focus on the flaws of others. However, this approach ultimately invalidates the other person’s humanity and leads to more suffering and disconnection.
To break this pattern, it’s important to practise self-awareness and introspection. By acknowledging our own struggles and insecurities, we can approach others with more empathy and understanding. We can also work towards addressing our own negative patterns and behaviours, which can help us become more compassionate, understanding and accepting of others.
The concept is a reminder to approach others with compassion and understanding, and to focus on our own personal growth and healing. By doing so, we can create deeper connections with others and cultivate a more positive and fulfilling life for ourselves.