We need to normalise
Crying in public.
It’s something very normal,
Very kind – a release.
And not everyone cries
Because they’re sad.
My favourite tears
Are those I cry when
I think of you –
They’re such loving, joyful tears.
They start in my chest
Where my heart is,
Where you are, always.
A knot in my neck at first
And then BOOM.
Pour out, love!
Pour out, joy!
Because it’s
Something very normal
To love in public.
Sometimes
I think you might
Miss me too.
And sometimes
I dream about you
Telling me it meant
Something more to you.
Sometimes
I wish you’d call,
Because if I call
You may not feel the same.
Sometimes I wonder
What it would have been like
If it wasn’t so short;
To have met your friends;
To hold you again;
Sometimes…
Oftentimes, I remember
More than I should,
And things that
Never happened.
Oftentimes, I forget that
Hey, it was great
Whilst it lasted –
Memories are never enough.
And oftentimes
I’m grateful I was, briefly,
Someone special to you.
I’m thirty three
And I’m afraid
Of doing things
Still.
I’m afraid
It will hurt,
It will fall apart,
It will not last.
And then more
And more
I seek the courage
To do more today
Than I did yesterday.
To do –
To be.
And thus,
My darkest fear,
My greatest pain,
You’re in the growing,
Not in the doing.
It’s something we carry in our hearts
And sometimes share with the world.
It’s our antidote to ignorance
And our calling march in summer.
It’s something we share with our friends
When we dance the nights away.
It’s every drop in our teary eyes
When we catch a glimpse of it in others.
It’s something we build everyday
And fight to keep alive and beaming.
It’s a soft bending, stubborn hope,
A spiritual practice with no dogma.
It’s something in the strut of our heels
And the glitter that covers our wounds.
It’s the glue of our community
And the sweet embrace of our kin.
It’s something living in every broken heart
And it’s somewhere where we all belong.
Our glory anthem. Our war and peace.
Our Pride.
All that I have
To give to you
Is invisible to your eyes
And untouchable
To your fingers.
It glows in the dark
And it’s the light
Of my eyes.
It’s warm in the winter
And it lives
In my touch.
It’s everything you feel
When I touch you
At a distance
And it’s every atom
That vibrates
In the cosmos.
You know they say
People like us
Don’t go to heaven…
But who would want heaven
When I can have you.
The corners of smile
When you look into my eyes.
The dance of your tears
When you’re filled with gratitude.
Your wild lust, your care.
My gentle discipline.
How you get under my skin.
So many moments –
Our imagination set free.
Our desires alive, expressed.
Many things to live without
But none as easy to, because
Even if we can’t have heaven,
I have this earth with you.
